Happy New Year Everyone!!! Hope you had a great time last night ringing in the new year. I myself thought I'd start New Year's Day out right... with a resolution, of course. I have so many this year so I thought I'd get started first thing this morning with one of my "better health" resolutions.One of the only things I wanted this Christmas was a juicer... you know, the guy on TV, Jack LaLane and his infamous infomercial. I pride myself on not being a sucker... I refuse to buy anything advertised in an infomercial... why would they be selling this stuff on TV when they could make much more money putting it on a shelf at Target?? So as soon as I saw it at Sam's I thought, "Hey, it must really work. Maybe I'll buy one myself." I told Jonathan that I knew we weren't really buying each other anything this year... the economy, you know... but if he were to get me a little something, I'd really like that Jack LaLane juicer.
So Christmas morning I open my gifts and what do you know... no juicer. Instead I got a Magic Bullet... from that other famous appliance infomercial . And therein lies the problem with marriage... men don't listen. I had to tell him... I really wanted that juicer. I was tactful but honest... I said, "Babe, how much did you spend on this thing. Would it be OK if we spent just a little bit more and trade it in for that juicer I wanted." Ever so gracious, my sweet husband said sure and he took it back to the store and got me what I really wanted.
So days go by... we go out of town... we get back and I have my sister's kids here staying with us and life is again chaotic and crazy and mama doesn't have any time to crank up that juicer. But, oh was I ever excited about it. I read the cookbook, the how-to manual, and I even went to the grocery store with 5 kids in tow to stock up on carrots and blueberries, raspberries, apples, strawberries, oranges, pineapple, grapes and all the rest.
So that's when New Year's Day comes in... I decided what better day to try out my new pride and joy. I take everything out of the box, wash it all, read the instructions, get my fruit out... which, by the way, was a much bigger undertaking than I remember from the commercial. The way I remember it they're throwing in whole pieces of fruit without a care in the world. Remarkable, I'm thinking.... you don't have to cut them up... wow, even I would have time to do that! Well, that's just the magic of TV... not necessarily so in real life... the shoot is too small for almost everything except grapes and strawberries and once you read through the book they recommend you peel all citrus fruits if you'd like good flavor... and that is the point isn't it.... good flavor? But I've still got a really good attitude at this point... I'm thinking what's the big deal in peeling a few oranges for good health?
So I start the machine, I throw in my first couple of fruits... they slam around for a few seconds and I'm so excited watching them pulverize before my eyes. And then, all of a sudden, there's wet stuff everywhere... pulp is flying out all over the place.... the glass on my cabinet doors above the juicer are covered with little bits of pulp.... and it hits me. Oh no, I forgot to put a cup in front of the dispenser, and whoops... I forgot to attach the pulp collector. You'd think they'd be a little more clear in the instructions about the importance of putting a cup below the juice dispenser for us whacked-out-from-screaming-children-
mommies. I stop the machine... fix my little problems, and still with a hopeful anticipation crank it back up. I throw in a huge carrot, 2 oranges, about 25 grapes, 4 enormous strawberries and 3 extra thick slices of pineapple. Juice starts pouring into the cup, and I'm thinking, "Oh, the kids are going to be soooooo healthy! This is great!"
And then it stops... no more juice. I look into the cup... hmmmm, that's really not a whole lot of juice. Wow, that sure was alot of work for that not so full cup. And then I look at the pulp collector.... it's jam packed... I look inside the juicer where the pulp comes out... it's jam packed with pulp as well. And then I get that sinking feeling.... that's a whole lot of pulp going to waste... gosh, that sure was expensive... I spent a fortune on all of this fruit. Let's see how it tastes.
And it was good... really good. So I'm still thinking... it's OK... so what, it's alot of work... but we'll all be healthier... the kids will really like this stuff. So I call them all in... tell them how yummy it is... get out three cups and divide the mixture up between them. It fills each up maybe an inch and a half high. They each take their sip and ALL of them look up at me with this kind of disgusted look on their faces. I say, "What, you don't like it?" And they're like, "Well, it's OK.... kind of." But I can tell from their faces that there is no way in H-E- double you know what that I'll ever get them to drink this stuff!!!
Oh, the disappointment. But I trudge on... washing, chopping, and pulverizing fruit for the next little while. I made 3 batches all together... drank a little myself and put the rest in popsicle molds, praying that maybe if it's frozen the kids will actually consume it.
Then it's time for clean up... I look around at the counters... full of stems, and seeds and rinds and juice... I look at the walls and canisters on my counter dotted with pulp and again, I look up at the glass in my cabinets with pulp all over it. I take out the instruction book and figure out how to take the entire machine apart to handwash all 6 parts that are covered in pulp, then hand dry them and put the whole machine back together. When all that is done I look over at the clock... it's 11:15am and I think, you've gotta be kidding! I made three cups of juice in an hour and a half!!!! Somebody please knock some sense into me!
I really did have the best of intentions, and I'm sure it is very healthy juice. I'm just not so sure that it's that much healthier than the Minute Maid on the shelf at Walmart. So I think I'll tell Jonathan to place a buy order for some Tropicana stock on Friday when he goes back to work... there are bound to be alot of mommies like me with brand new juicers for Christmas who are running as fast as they can to the refrigerated section of the grocery store!
And the very worst part is that I washed my hair just yesterday and now it's got little chunks of fruit in it... I was really hoping to make it through a few more days without taking the time to shampoo. And that's not all... my clothes are covered in flying pulp as well (and you know I have laundry issues right now!)
MORAL OF THE STORY... just eat your fruit the way God intended... one BITE at a time... it's MUCH easier that way.
