Invisible Mother

I got this email this morning, and I couldn't have received a better gift. The challenges and triumphs of motherhood have been leaning hard toward the "challenging" side lately, and it's been weighing heavily on my mind. Take the time to read this if you will.... I promise it will inspire you.


It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, "Can't you see I'm on the phone?"

Obviously not; no one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I'm invisible. The invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more! Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this?? Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a clock to ask, "What time is it?" I'm a satellite guide to answer, "What number is the Disney Channel?" I'm a car to order, "Right around 5:30, please."

I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summa cum laude - but now, they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going, she's going, she's gone!?

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England. Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, "I brought you this." It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription: "To Charlotte , with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees."

In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names. These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, "Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof; No one will ever see it. And the workman replied, "Because God sees."

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, "I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become."

At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride. I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on.

The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.
When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, "My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for 3 hours and presses all the linens for the table." That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, "You're gonna love it there."

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.

Great Job, MOM!

The Will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.

GOD Bless and Enjoy Another GREAT day!!!

Back by Popular Demand

I'm laughing at all the great response I got from my little "The Notebook" post. Man, we must all be really hurtin' for some hot, steamy romance!! Everyone I've talked to on the phone has commented on it, and of course, there are all the comments left below the post.... so I thought I'd give you all a little more of what you seem to really want... just turn off the ipod on the right before you play the video.

Jonathan's out of town for 10 days starting next Wednesday... we need to have a girl's Notebook nite with a pitcher of martini's involved!

Here's to Health

Happy New Year Everyone!!! Hope you had a great time last night ringing in the new year. I myself thought I'd start New Year's Day out right... with a resolution, of course. I have so many this year so I thought I'd get started first thing this morning with one of my "better health" resolutions.

One of the only things I wanted this Christmas was a juicer... you know, the guy on TV, Jack LaLane and his infamous infomercial. I pride myself on not being a sucker... I refuse to buy anything advertised in an infomercial... why would they be selling this stuff on TV when they could make much more money putting it on a shelf at Target?? So as soon as I saw it at Sam's I thought, "Hey, it must really work. Maybe I'll buy one myself." I told Jonathan that I knew we weren't really buying each other anything this year... the economy, you know... but if he were to get me a little something, I'd really like that Jack LaLane juicer.

So Christmas morning I open my gifts and what do you know... no juicer. Instead I got a Magic Bullet... from that other famous appliance infomercial . And therein lies the problem with marriage... men don't listen. I had to tell him... I really wanted that juicer. I was tactful but honest... I said, "Babe, how much did you spend on this thing. Would it be OK if we spent just a little bit more and trade it in for that juicer I wanted." Ever so gracious, my sweet husband said sure and he took it back to the store and got me what I really wanted.

So days go by... we go out of town... we get back and I have my sister's kids here staying with us and life is again chaotic and crazy and mama doesn't have any time to crank up that juicer. But, oh was I ever excited about it. I read the cookbook, the how-to manual, and I even went to the grocery store with 5 kids in tow to stock up on carrots and blueberries, raspberries, apples, strawberries, oranges, pineapple, grapes and all the rest.

So that's when New Year's Day comes in... I decided what better day to try out my new pride and joy. I take everything out of the box, wash it all, read the instructions, get my fruit out... which, by the way, was a much bigger undertaking than I remember from the commercial. The way I remember it they're throwing in whole pieces of fruit without a care in the world. Remarkable, I'm thinking.... you don't have to cut them up... wow, even I would have time to do that! Well, that's just the magic of TV... not necessarily so in real life... the shoot is too small for almost everything except grapes and strawberries and once you read through the book they recommend you peel all citrus fruits if you'd like good flavor... and that is the point isn't it.... good flavor? But I've still got a really good attitude at this point... I'm thinking what's the big deal in peeling a few oranges for good health?

So I start the machine, I throw in my first couple of fruits... they slam around for a few seconds and I'm so excited watching them pulverize before my eyes. And then, all of a sudden, there's wet stuff everywhere... pulp is flying out all over the place.... the glass on my cabinet doors above the juicer are covered with little bits of pulp.... and it hits me. Oh no, I forgot to put a cup in front of the dispenser, and whoops... I forgot to attach the pulp collector. You'd think they'd be a little more clear in the instructions about the importance of putting a cup below the juice dispenser for us whacked-out-from-screaming-children-
mommies. I stop the machine... fix my little problems, and still with a hopeful anticipation crank it back up. I throw in a huge carrot, 2 oranges, about 25 grapes, 4 enormous strawberries and 3 extra thick slices of pineapple. Juice starts pouring into the cup, and I'm thinking, "Oh, the kids are going to be soooooo healthy! This is great!"

And then it stops... no more juice. I look into the cup... hmmmm, that's really not a whole lot of juice. Wow, that sure was alot of work for that not so full cup. And then I look at the pulp collector.... it's jam packed... I look inside the juicer where the pulp comes out... it's jam packed with pulp as well. And then I get that sinking feeling.... that's a whole lot of pulp going to waste... gosh, that sure was expensive... I spent a fortune on all of this fruit. Let's see how it tastes.

And it was good... really good. So I'm still thinking... it's OK... so what, it's alot of work... but we'll all be healthier... the kids will really like this stuff. So I call them all in... tell them how yummy it is... get out three cups and divide the mixture up between them. It fills each up maybe an inch and a half high. They each take their sip and ALL of them look up at me with this kind of disgusted look on their faces. I say, "What, you don't like it?" And they're like, "Well, it's OK.... kind of." But I can tell from their faces that there is no way in H-E- double you know what that I'll ever get them to drink this stuff!!!

Oh, the disappointment. But I trudge on... washing, chopping, and pulverizing fruit for the next little while. I made 3 batches all together... drank a little myself and put the rest in popsicle molds, praying that maybe if it's frozen the kids will actually consume it.

Then it's time for clean up... I look around at the counters... full of stems, and seeds and rinds and juice... I look at the walls and canisters on my counter dotted with pulp and again, I look up at the glass in my cabinets with pulp all over it. I take out the instruction book and figure out how to take the entire machine apart to handwash all 6 parts that are covered in pulp, then hand dry them and put the whole machine back together. When all that is done I look over at the clock... it's 11:15am and I think, you've gotta be kidding! I made three cups of juice in an hour and a half!!!! Somebody please knock some sense into me!

I really did have the best of intentions, and I'm sure it is very healthy juice. I'm just not so sure that it's that much healthier than the Minute Maid on the shelf at Walmart. So I think I'll tell Jonathan to place a buy order for some Tropicana stock on Friday when he goes back to work... there are bound to be alot of mommies like me with brand new juicers for Christmas who are running as fast as they can to the refrigerated section of the grocery store!

And the very worst part is that I washed my hair just yesterday and now it's got little chunks of fruit in it... I was really hoping to make it through a few more days without taking the time to shampoo. And that's not all... my clothes are covered in flying pulp as well (and you know I have laundry issues right now!)


MORAL OF THE STORY... just eat your fruit the way God intended... one BITE at a time... it's MUCH easier that way.