Crack Attack!

Alright, it's official. Paula's on crack.

There's just no denying it anymore. The effects are devastating...

For anyone watching last nights American Idol, you must have to agree with me! She's completely lost it (not that there was that much to work with in the first place). She's coo-coo, crazy, psycho, wacked, deranged, nuts, or as my now 9 year old would say "nacho" -- she made an absolute fool out of herself!

How else do you explain her bizarre behavior??? Come on people, really, how hard is it to critique five novice pop singers? There's not a whole lot involved... that's obvious from her normal comments like "you're good, you're really good" or "a good singer is a good singer" or "you're adorable" or even her favorite "I love you!" The closest she ever gets to anything technical might be something really deep like, "you're right on pitch" or "I like the low end of your range." So, really, this should not be a challenge. It's her 7th season after all. Yet, somehow, she couldn't even figure out that Jason had only sung one song??? Isn't she making millions of bazillions of dollars doing this? Don't you think she could have been paying a little more attention? Was she just making all that up about the second song? She was certainly not talking about David Cook's performance after Jason because he was fantastic and what she was saying was negative! It makes no logical sense...

That's why I've concluded... it's crack. It has to be.

She's lost the very tiny amount of credibility that she had left. Alright, I know, that's a stretch. She's never had any credibility, but I guess my heart just goes out to her. She's certainly never been my favorite, but you just hate to see anyone make a complete fool of themselves on national TV.

I really have no interest in hearing anything she has to say anymore. Once you've lost me you've just lost me. But I guess I won't stop watching. I can't -- I'm in too deep now. I think I'll just have to take a bathroom break or go get some potato chips every time she starts to talk. That's how I'll do it. I promise, David, I'll support you to the end!!!

Jacob's first fish...

Jonathan took Jacob & Macy fishing this weekend. They drove about 10 miles out of the way just to get some crickets because he had heard the fish weren't biting worms. So, they did great and Jacob even caught his first fish! Jacob was so excited when he came home to tell me. And Macy caught four fish herself. I included a few pictures...

It's that time again - it's birthday central around here in March and April. And finally -- I'M DONE!!! We had about 10 kids here Friday night for a sleepover. Madison wanted a "Build-a-Bear" party but since there's no Build-A-Bear store around here, Mommy just made it all up. They chose their animal and it's clothes, we stuffed them all and filled out birth certificates. Then they went from one station to the next making the animal's bed, it's blanket & pillow and a collar for it. It was fun, but the girls were WILD from the moment they walked in the door. Where exactly do they get all that energy??? Who knows -- it sure is mighty hard to find when it's time to clean their rooms!!!
They danced and sang and played most of the night. And I've heard about enough Naked Brothers Band and Jonas Brothers to do me for a while! It's really sad when you wake up in the middle of the night and you can't get back to sleep because you're singing Hannah Montana's "let's go, G.N.O....!" It's even sadder when you realize you know just about every word to every song! I really used to have much better musical taste. I sure never thought I'd be 37 and listening to boy bands for the first time in my life!

Madison's 9th Birthday Party!

These are the outtakes from our trip - you just have to laugh at what some people are willing to wear -- or not wear!

(If the slide show stops, click on the X to close the box)
Alright, I know this is not nice. But when you don't know anyone and you're out of the country, what do you do when you're on the beach? You make fun of people! And Jonathan is the best at it! He had names for everybody! There was a whole cast of characters that we kept running into the entire trip.

And the funniest part??? All the topless girls -- or should I say women because, unfortunately, many too many of them were over 55 and hadn't been to a Gold's Gym in a while (if ever!!!) We should have gotten pictures of more, but I just didn't have the nerve! And we worry about what we look like in bathing suits!!!

Thanks Jennisa!!!

Jennisa, you are an amazing talent! Thanks so much for "pimping my blog" as they say! I have loved every frustrating minute of this whole new world of blogging. I have learned so much and it's finally making me take all those pictures I've felt guilty about not taking. I've told everybody about you -- I hope your business grows by leaps and bounds this year! You can find Jennisa at "http://onceuponablog.org" -- check it out sometime.

10th Anniversary Trip to the Dominican Republic...

We're Back!!! Not so glad to be back, but I guess it always nice to come home and sleep in your own bed. And the kids were very happy to see us. It's amazing how they start appreciating you (finally) when you're gone for a while.

The Dominican Republic was beautiful and the resort was even better. It was casually very elegant, and all of the lobby and main areas of the hotel were open to the outside. You can always catch a breeze and see the ocean and pool from just about anywhere. There were 7 restaurants and 10 bars, so we were pretty much always eating and drinking. And we could order room service anytime, too. We ate about 4 full meals a day because every night we'd come in and order room service at about midnight. It was great, but now we have permanent souveniers to bring home with us -- about 4 to 5 pounds a piece!!!

My favorite drink was called a Coco Loco -- it was sort of like a pina colada but they served it inside a real coconut. They would chop off the top and use the coconut milk inside to make the drink. It was yummy, and somehow it makes you feel like you're really in paradise when you're sitting by the ocean under your own Gilligan's Island thatch umbrella and drinking out of a coconut! I loved it.

The people were so nice, too. The service was impeccable. We had people waiting on us the whole time. And there was a show every night at 10:00pm that most people at the resort would go to. That made it fun & festive to have such a large crowd, and usually the shows were pretty good. The first night was a Michael Jackson impersonation show. Sounds hokey, I know, but anything you can sit down and actually watch without kids screaming or fighting is my kind of entertainment! (Did I mention that there are NO KIDS ALLOWED at the resort -- talk about paradise!!!) Anyway, they had people from the audience come up and do their own impersonations of Michael before the show and that was actually the best part. It was really funny to see big, fat, and sometimes old men doing the drunk moonwalk and shaking their stuff. The whole audience went wild, screaming & cheering for their favorite. It was fun. On other nights there were singers, or a magic show and even a circus show one night.

It was a great way to celebrate 10 years of marriage -- we just relaxed and spent much-needed time together without kids. I highly recommend it!

I made a slide show (above) so you can see more pictures. And, by the way, we took Jonathan's little digital camera (which I despise because it takes horrible pictures). It's easier to deal with than my nicer, bigger camera, so some of the pictures aren't so great. Enjoy!

Yes, we are leaving in 1 1/2days to go on our trip to the Dominican Republic and what am I doing? ....BLOGGING. That is really not smart seeing as how I have about a million things to do to get ready to go. But I just wanted to journal a few things.

We had a busy weekend. It was Spring Fling on Friday night, so I had to finish up the painting for the auction, and I helped set up for it a little, too. Then we went there and had a great time. Barclay, you did such a good job organizing everything and the kids loved it!

Then we had birthday parties on Saturday, and we took Jack out for his birthday dinner that night. We went to Yellow Hammer with Joe & Elizabeth and Barclay & Jack -- it was so much fun.

Then Sunday we took pictures of the kids and Jonathan's parents came to visit. Mic-Mic came by, too, and the kids really enjoyed seeing everyone.

Now... the funny part. Jacob, who is such a little clown, was sitting in my lap yesterday while I worked on the computer editing the photos I had just taken of the kids. He is always talking about hunting and killing things (I just can't imagine why...). So, he's sitting there and out of the blue he says, "I went hunting... and... well, I killed deer... and babysitters... and I was in the woods."

It took me a second... I thought... hmmmm... did he really just say what I think he said???... "he killed deer and BABYSITTERS!!!" Oh my... I have just got to spend more time with that child!!! His daddy has completely warped him!!!

Photos for Mom...

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I just love having pictures of my kids!! I'm not sure why I never take the time to do it -- I think I just stay soooo busy. But that's exactly why I'm working on this blogsite. It really is helping me to remember to make the time to take those pictures that we all as moms forget to take.

Anyway, Jennisa is working on "pimping my blog" (I've designed the website the way I want it, but she adds the cute touches to decorate it up), and I needed new pictures of all 3 kids together for the new header she is creating for me. And Madison has been fighting me for months on taking a few pictures of her... so Sunday, we did it. And they turned out soooo cute!! I've included just a few in the slide show so enjoy!

Celebrity Look-Alikes! You should try it too...

I came across this goofy little celebrity look-a-like game on myheritage.com and I thought it'd be funny to give it a try. You should do it, too. It gave me 10 celebrities that I supposedly favored and then it told me to pick eight of those to make this graphic. I cracked up that one of my ten was Naomi Campbell. She's about the blackest black model and I'm about the whitest person on the planet! And we matched by something like 72%!!!! Hee! Hee!

But I was a little excited about one of the matches... Angelina. It left me wondering... if I'm 68% Angelina Jolie, don't you think that entitles me to 68% of Brad Pitt??? I'll take from the knees up!!

Our Sunday afternoon...

The Backstreet Girls Profile...

These are the girls, "The Backstreet Girls" ...named by Tamara
... formerly known as "The Spice Girls" who were originally named by John Price

I have loved just about everything about moving to Auburn. It's hard to believe that this awesome little town was so close to that crime-ridden place we lived before, and we never imagined back then we'd end up here. But God definitely showed us the way... it was our little miracle. And sometimes I just want to shout from the rooftops how great I think it is... but I won't... at least not today.

Anyhoo.... one of the best things about Auburn is this fantastic little corner of the earth, about a million turns into Grove Hill, where the most amazing women and their families have chosen to set up shop. It still amazes me how Jonathan and I ended up here -- all the twists and turns and deadends and financial woes that eventually led to this house... at this time... surrounded by these great people. I love you all. You have enhanced my life in ways you'll probably never know. So... I wanted to take a little time to acknowledge you all... my fun friends... "The Backstreet Girls"...


Amanda: Being an "A" I come first in this alphabetical list... You've already heard enough about me so I won't bore you with any more... let's get on to the rest of the girls...







Amy: Long, lost member... we miss you!! A down-to-earth, enormously talented artist with fabulous taste. Only female in a house full of boys... kudos!!! I commend her for enduring all the trials and tribulations life has brought her way... she is super strong and a caring, dedicated mom. Amy, we need a "Reunion Show" -- how 'bout this THURSDAY!!!




Barclay: And to think that we all thought it was great before you moved in... we must have been crazy. Now we couldn't imagine life without you! Conscientious, patient mom... great delegater. She's a terrific balance to Jack and a fantastic wife (at least according to me -- Jack, you may have a different opinion). Very strong, but quiet -- in a good way. Fun, but laid back... great hostess. Loves a glass of wine to smooth out the day.



Elizabeth: Where do I start? Elizabeth is unlike anyone I've ever met... extraordinarily good with people, everybody likes her because she is genuinely concerned about EVERYBODY! How is that possible??? Anyway, she's a great friend, definitely a talker, and a great storyteller. I am fascinated by her incredible memory (seeing as a how I can barely remember what I did this morning!) She is nonjudgmental & caring, but she's fun, too. I know she thinks she should be neater and more organized, but I say... you can't have it all! Elizabeth, be so thankful that you are so blessed with the gifts you have -- we are all lucky to call you a friend.

Holly: Also a great friend. She will never divulge anything you tell her. Strong christian, but not preachy. Tries to only think of the positive side of every situation. Very patient mom to 4 boys, including twins, who were at one time all 4 years old and under! That can make her a little wacky at times, but that's what we love about her -- "Hey, Heather, that must be one goooood caucus!" Always ready to take a little break from the boys to hang out with the girls!




Jodi: I knew I liked her the first time I met her... she's funny & personable. She makes everybody feel at ease... she tells it like it is and is very genuine. I like that in a person. Hard-working, talented painter. Great at always staying in touch with family and friends. Has been through virtually the worst that life can throw at you, and she made it to the other side with God's help and her own inner strength. I always think of her when I need a little more strength of my own.



Julee: Very busy mom to 3 kids, 2 of which are still babies, only a little over a year apart!! That makes me tired just thinking about it! Julee is so thoughtful and sweet. She's the person you get a thank you note from only 10 minutes after you brought her dinner! She is very creative and a dedicated blogger. She has taught me so much in the last few weeks -- Thanks Julee! She is funny & fun to be around -- I'm so glad the babies are getting older, so she'll have more time to hang out with us.



Stacy: Funny. I mean HI-LAR-I-OUS!!! Will do anything for a laugh. Doesn't care who's in the room -- she's going to be herself. How awesome is that? Amazingly calm, even when facing enormous storms. It's fantastic to see someone make lemonade from lemons right before your eyes! Puts her kids first in everything. Is really, truly happy and that's a really nice thing to witness, too. Entrepreneurial spirit who is FINALLY doing exactly what she wants to do! HOORAY for Stac! CSC Rocks! Gotta go... I think I'm getting a TOE CRAMP!!!


Tamara: Tamara has a great spirit and sense of style. She likes to do things a little differently from the rest -- to be unique-- in a way that makes her stand out from the crowd. That's a hard thing to do and still be stylish in these times where the whole town goes to Target for everything! She has great taste, and her kids are the best-dressed kids around! She is thoughtful, a good friend and never gossips. Tamara has one of the best marriages I know of -- she and Ronnie are a great match! She definitely knows how to have fun!

Thanks for all your friendships, love & support! Can't wait for the beach!!!

Yikes!!! It's picture day!

Imagine my dismay a few weeks ago when my kids come home from school to explain to me that it was picture day that day. Get it? Was... Well, as you all know, I've been having a little trouble getting both my oldest kids, especially #2, to look half-way decent in public. It seems they think that not matching AT ALL or wearing your pajama shirt with an old raggedy pair of shorts, or dirty clothes with stains all over them, or not brushing their hair or teeth is some kind of cool fashion statement. It has been a struggle.

Soooo... back to the story... they come home excited because they took school pictures that day. I take one look at them and thought... pleeeease don't tell me their 1st & 3rd grade pictures, the ones they'll have forever, the ones that go in the yearbook for goodness sake... please don't tell that's the way they looked!!! So, I forgot that it was picture day. Mommy brain. I really used to remember things, be on top of things, I was actually a pretty smart cookie back in the day... Oh well... the past is the past.

So, I thought I'd share the lovely photos with you -- we got them back Friday in their backpacks. I have to say, it's pretty hard to write out the big check for pictures that every time I look at... forevermore, I will remember that I screwed up and forgot to curl their hair (you know, the hair that is normally hardly ever brushed) and put them in cute outfits (you know, the clothes that I have to force them to wear, that they hate, fight with me over, and leave us all flustered & upset as they walk out the door).

Hey, maybe I'll look for the silver lining: At least the pictures will one day remind me of life reeeaallly was!!

Spudilicious!

Hooray! Madison won... (or maybe I should say that I won) the 3rd grade "Decorate-a-Spud" contest. We came up with a doctor theme, but the more I worked on it, the more it looked like a beauty salon. So "Ida" the beautician was born. Madison was very proud. There were lots of categories of winners placing 1st, 2nd & 3rd, but she won the 1st place grand prize. Pretty cool.

40 - 1! Happy Birthday JP!

Well, honey, it's the last birthday with a 3 in front! Momentous. We had 8 or so families over and had a great time as usual. How blessed we are to have such fun, down-to-earth, incredible friends in our lives! And, yes, somehow I ended up doing the splits again! And after I promised myself I wouldn't! I really don't know how that keeps happening....

Anyway, we had a cookout and the weather was perfect, the kids were amazingly calm & cooperative. Except, of course, for the little incident where Taylor got a big piece of hotdog lodged in her throat and had to go the ER to get it out! Thank goodness Dr. John was at the party. But still it was a lot of fun! Can't wait til the REALLY big one next year! And the kids are still singing, "Happy Birthday to you, you live in a zoo..." You all know the rest.

And, yes, that is Ronnie in the Optimus Prime helmet. Who else would it be?

Aren't we supposed to be nice to each other? It is Easter after all!

I have to admit, Easter morning wasn't exactly what it should have been. Fighting should absolutely not be a part of the Easter celebration. Shouldn't we all be remembering the miracle of Christ rising from the grave? Well, unfortunately life gets in the way sometimes and we are all just human, I guess.

The kids were ugly to each other, everything was chaotic trying to get everyone ready on time, and of course, I just wanted to have time for pictures, you know, the ones that last a lifetime.

So we go outside, it's freezing, the kids are complaining, no one will smile, and well, mommy had a little breakdown. I went on strike. I dropped the camera, went inside, and said that's it. IT!

Really, hadn't we just been to the beach for a week where we a bought all new clothes & shoes for everyone, bought Build-A-Bears, ate out every meal, played in the pool even when it was soooo cold, played games, rode go-carts, and ate enough doughnuts to feed a small third-world country?

We get in the car and I let them have it. You're familiar, I'm sure -- "the mommy speech." It goes something like this... "After all I have done for you this week -- taking you to the beach, buying you everything you wanted, and this is the thanks I get? All Mommy wanted was a few smiling pictures. That's it. And you couldn't even do it after all I do for all of you!"

Then we go in, hear the sermon, and the guilt is welling up in me the whole way thru.
I felt horrible. I closed my eyes, prayed for forgiveness... patience. I love them all. How can we all act that way to each other? We learn through our mistakes, right?

Needless to say, I have no cute Easter pictures for the blog, but we did decorate Easter eggs and had a great time doing it. I promise to have a much more meaningful Easter morning next year kiddos.

Spring Break in Destin - Brrrrrrr!

Alright, so I'm a little behind on blogging. When I have time, I'm learning more about how to do it instead of actually doing it. I will get better -- it's that ole learning curve, you know? Well, March was jam packed. Especially since I had a little surgery that knocked me off my feet for a while, but I'm back. Better than ever!

We also had the kids' Spring Break so we went to Destin for the week. It was great to get away, but the weather was pretty windy & cold. At least we had heated pools, hot tubs and terrific shopping. We spent a lot of time at Destin Commons and of course, at Build-A-Bear. Jacob got a dinosaur that his daddy named Dyno-mite. Later, Jacob insisted he was "Dyno-Mike" instead. We all had a good laugh.

I had the kids by myself for all but 2 days of it -- Jonathan needed to get back to work. So between still recovering and having all three kids around every moment of every day for 9 days, I was definitely ready for the school bell to ring! But I did enjoy spending time together as a family with no other distractions. We love our neighborhood, but it's a wee bit rowdy sometimes!